Things I don’t understand at the gym:

1) Getting worked up if “your” spot is taken. It’s a gym. You don’t own part of it. I get that you like a certain section of the room. So do I. But sometimes other people like that same section. And they get there first. Move on and don’t a) shoot me dirty looks, I didn’t even know it was your spot, okay? and/or b) pick your spot so close to mine that I am forced to move or think you are a lunatic with no sense of space or both

2) Teachers who are consistently late.

3) Teachers who are on time/early but still start class late.

4) Men who don’t see the need to lauder clothing or apply deodorant.

5) People who stretch out before a class by showing you that they can do a full split. I got it, you’re flexible.

6) Women who apply lotion (liberally) naked, often with their foot up on the bench.

And finally, for the love of god if you’re going to wear short shorts, please make sure I can’t see an ass cheek or any part of your nether region.