There are certain things that I do that can only be filed under “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Or “if you want an enormous sucker/ consummate consumer, I have your girl.”

Time and time again I tell myself not to do any/all of the below. I will swear (inwardly) that I have finally learned my lesson. Then I will proceed as if I have never before done the action, always with the same result.

1) Switch beauty products. I find a product I like after trying/rejecting many other more expensive (and sometimes cheaper) options. Let’s take concealer as an example. I finally have my semi life changing product that actually hides the flaws without looking like heavy, claustrophobia-inducing make-up (at least in my mind’s eye). Then I read an article about another concealer or a friend tells me she has “the best” concealer. I start to question my trusty choice, even though that gal has never let me down. I then purchase and (immediately) loathe the new product. It sits on my shelf for some time while I convince myself I will one day use it. I never use it. I then donate it and feel somewhat heroic.

2) Buy my kids clothes without asking if they like the item. Apparently what I think is cute and what a 9 yo girl and 6 yo boy find cute/acceptable are not one and the same at least 25% of the time. Boy is generally okay with my choices except when he’s not. It’s annoying that they have opinions.

3) Take advantage of a sale when I don’t need anything from that particular store. Sure, I can use an extra t-shirt, but inevitably it’s for the kids and then please see above. It’s extra special when the item is on “final” sale and then does not fit.

4) Feel certain I can still fit into a size small top. I cannot. But I have some old shirts that are small and must have stretched and thus I do not ever learn lesson.

5) Buy too much fruit. Especially raspberries which get mold approximately 80% of the time if you don’t eat them the day or maybe minute you buy them.

6) Fail to notice that an item on amazon prime is what can be only be called “aimed at those with enormous storage areas.” Am still making way though the 12 bottles of clorox I accidentally bought 3 years ago. I’ve also done this with soap, toothpaste and sunblock.

7) Order jeans online. Have yet to keep a pair, I know it doesn’t work….yet I have 3 pairs packed up to be returned as I type.