My kids are finally, FINALLY back in school (then they are off for 2 days next wk but I digress) Here is my assessment on the going back to school process from 4 different perspectives:

Boy child (6):
A month out: Gets class list, is thrilled not to have teacher he doesn’t want, comments (positively) on two friends in class, doesn’t discuss again.  Does not ask anything about teacher (who is new).

Two weeks out starts acting like he is approximately 3.4 years old – melting down about nothing, waking up in the middle of the night, begging me not to go out when I go out (like once,  but that begging makes me want to sprint out nightly).

Day before school: Mentions something along the lines of “THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE” and when asked why it is “because I have to go to school tomorrow.”

Day 1: Must wake boy even though he has been waking before this hour for entire summer. Comes home telling me he hates school, likes one child in class, claims teachers are focusing on teaching class how to “walk. And I’m serious, mommy.”  Reviews class list at home and is surprised to see a name (as in, he didn’t notice them in classroom during 7 hours there). Pry any info out of him possible, which includes  how he likes the kid at school who pulled his pants down at recess and how his skinny, Southern Belle (12 year-old) looking teacher is “much stricter than she looks.”

Girl child (9)

Starts obsessing about 4th grade class list in August (school starts on 9/10).

3 weeks later gets class list. Pours over each name including those not in her class. Calls friend to discuss. Asks to see the class list several times in the following weeks. Obsesses over teacher (who is new) and what she will look like and what her personality will be and whether she will be strict. Guesses at her age and hair length (based on name alone). Also speculates on new kids in grade.

Day before school: Is mostly excited about school. Likes her class. Has listed everyone who might make trouble and there aren’t many. Tells me she’s not nervous because “I know the drill.”

Eve of first day: Is nervous. Worries she wont sleep. Sleeps though does wake up early and is ready to go an hour before we need to leave.

Day 1: Detailed report of day, lunch, who she sat with, what the thinks the year will be like and why….without prompting.

Mother (that’d be me):

Is proud for obsessing less about class list than she has in past which lasts until mid August.  Gets class lists. Pours over the names. Has several lengthy discussion with friends about the classes (particularly girl child’s). Does several regression analyses on class dynamic data.

Before first day: Has ordered winter coats, made sure clothes in closet fit and are season-appropriate. Has washed backpacks, re-attached key chains, has packed extra clothes for boy, and feels like genius for having both schools’ IDs at the ready.

Can’t wait for school to start as it has been 1,000 weeks since they were in school last. Cries privately when boy tells her he hates school and debates transferring him immediately. Asks boy about who he likes in his class other than pants-less kid. Gets nothing. Enjoys 30 minute long convo with girl about first day of school.

Father:

Does not ask to see class list and in fact may have those emails sent to spam. Asks when school starts several times between Sept 1 and Sept 8th when boy kid starts school. Asks “how was the first day” in passing.